You've missed me, I know. Don't cry, it's okay

I'm gonna make this quick because the sun is right in my eyes and I have 5 exams to study for. But long story short, I miss you. I loved doing this blog! And then year 12 happened. fml. I'll be back - when I can

LOST

I'm here to talk about what is most likely the most amazing television show ever to present itself to the world. Lost. Lost is fabulous. Lost is almost everything that is good in this world. I've watched, adored and been sooo extraordinarily confused by it for 5 beautiful years. Now we're into the 6th season and the end is heart-breakingly imminent. This makes me cry - like, a lot - but I can taste the answers! All the answers that the writers of Lost have been moulding and hiding and alluding to, are soooooooooooo close! And although I will literally ball my eyes out in the last 10 minutes of the last episode (and for the love of all that is holy, it better not be because one of my Losties dies), I know my 5 seasons-long loyalty will be rewarded by the most fulfilling, exciting and emotional series finale ever to rock TV.

Hello 2010, blah blah blah

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Oh boy, that was excruiatingly belated. In fact it takes "belated" to a whole new level. "Belated" has officially gained new meaning. Well, I trust your holiday season was superb. It is 2010! Good heavens, I'm graduating high school this year. Yeah that's right, excitement is practically radiating from my skin! So it's 12:33am on the 20th of January and shit a brick, I just realised how well and truly we are into January. It's almost over!
Fuckity fuck fuck, that went fast. I'm in Brisbane right now and I never ever ever want to leave. Mum and I are here staying with my sister, her hubby, and my beautiful little 12 day old nephew and oh my dear goodness he is perfection. I don't want to leave. And by "don't want to leave" I honestly mean "don't want to leave." Everything feels good here. I don't want to return to my life of repetitiveness and routine.. and the soon-to-be-introduced presence of TEE and responsibility. Screw it. But forget all this depressing shit, let's focus on the purity of the new year. It's a clean slate and I'll make of it what I make of it. Narrowing in on the positives, that's what I plan to do this year and onwards! Yes, it is one of my 5607 new year's resolutions - I'm bound to keep at least ONE.

Anyway, ciao!

Frivolity?

Hello. It's 8:15pm on Sunday, December 6th, 2009. I feel very full, I just ate dinner. Funny thing is, I didn't even eat that much at dinner. But, I did eat what felt like an entire packet of peanuts not long before. Well that was quite a frivolous statement. Look at me, talking about food and my highly unnecessary binge eating. Small talk? Feels like it, doesn't it? Well while I'm at it, I may aswell say that I had lemon chicken and rice for dinner. That could be another reason why I'm so full.. rice. It's a carb, and very filling. Or does that just apply to pasta and not just carbohydrates in general? Oh well. The meal was good, we have it fairly regularly. I drank orange juice to wash it down, which was nice.. and see now I'm mindlessly blabbering. It's disappointing because this post did have a point initially and now the idea of an interesting topic seems far away and distant. I was going to discuss how I'm in a very quiet, kind of contemplative mood. See, I've been re-reading my Twilight books for a while now because I love all 4 of those books with a kind of passion that would seem entirely nonsensical to anybody who doesn't truly know me.. and I mean truly know me, which is hard. But anyway, I digress. What I really wanted to communicate is the extent to which those books encourage me to really think, you know? Think and ponder. It's a very powerful kind of effect. I've always known that the Twilight Saga has this profound ability to cheer me up more than any other materialistic or inanimate object ever could. It's comforting - to know that those books are there. Well... I've kind of lost my train of thought throughout this post. Mostly, however, I just wanted to write what was going in my mind. Thanks for your time man

Destination Known

Alaska, New York City, Sweden, Greece, Nashville.
5 places I would jet off too tomorrow if I had the chance. Their beauty is so different from eachother and yet all equally profound in my eyes; whether their amosphere be modernised or natural, urbanised or graceful. These places genuinely exist and that is enough motivation for me to believe in planet Earth. One day maybe...

Taylor's Music

Underneath this paragraph is a compilation of lyrics from songs by Taylor Swift that all mean something to me, for a variety of different reasons. Lyrics from "Invisible" "Breathe" "You're Not Sorry" and "White Horse" are organised below in the pattern my life followed for a very long time.. well, as close as it can get to being illustrated through music. I mean, I think these lyrics are as accurate as a song could possibly get to depicting that time in my life and I've never identified to music as much as I have recently with Taylor Swift's. Now I kind of tear up whenever I read this...


"You just see right through me but if you only knew me, we could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable.. instead I'm just invisible. And all I think about is how to make you think of me, and everything that we could be. Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance. I had so many dreams about you and me. Happy endings.. now I know. All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around. I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down. You had me falling for you honey and it never would've gone away. You used to shine so bright but I watched all of it fade. It's taken me this long baby but I figured you out, and you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around. And there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me.. just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry. Could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold. None of us thought it was gonna end this way. Well people are people and sometimes we change our minds, but it's killing me to see you go after all this time. Never wanted this, never wanted to see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out.. nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out. It's the kind of ending you don't really want to see, but I hope you know it's not easy, easy for me... You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand. It's two a.m, feeling like I just lost a friend. I'm sorry"

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Tomorrow is my final exam. Freedom is dancing on my fingertips and in less than 24 hours I'll have formed a clenched fist around it. All I want is for the holidays to begin. This is my time, my time to be happy. Things are going to change

Demetri Martin

I would like to talk about a man who could very well be the single most hilarious man in the whole entire universe. He goes by the name of Demetri Martin and he's not a comedian, he's the comedian. I relate with his humour so perfectly - it's the exact one I've grown up with next to my brother and sister. It's his sarcastic delivery, blunt expression and use of a guitar to pool the hilarity of his jokes into a musical experience, that appeals to my senses. The man has such simplicity and composure when performing and shit he's funny. I mean, if I had the chance to sit in the audience and watch Demetri perform then I would be in complete stiches. I mean, I already find myself chuckling uncontrollably when I'm listening to his wit on youtube in poor visual and audio quality. Yet I don't seem to care! Yep he's that good. And Demetri is, in fact, allergic to watermelon. I stalk.


"I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na’s are on this thing? 'Cause I'm like "Bana … keep going. Bananana … damn"

Past, Present, Future

I understand that education is important and a part of life, but I refuse to compromise my everything during school in order to "suceed" per sé. Many people spend these years of their lives preparing for a life not living one, and more often than not, we seem to forget that life is already happening within us and around us, and that life itself is so spontaneous that plans sometimes become nothing more than frivolity. It's not all about school, no matter how great a burden it might seem, or how definitive it's presence might be. Life can't always simply be about working towards something, even if, at times, it's important to feel that sense of where you want to be. I think that sometimes we need to assess where we are currently, and live for that moment. Hold tight your dreams and by all means wish for the future you'll always want for yourself, but rather, let those dreams not create who you want to be, but instead build upon the character you currently are.

I just wanted to say something. Um, this post might appear a bit of a downer but I think it's something that I need to let out. I just wanted to pay my respects to anybody in the entire world who has ever lost anybody in their lives. I don't know, there have been a lot of news stories lately about death and my heart right now is honestly with the families of these lost ones. I don't want to think about what exactly they're enduring, but at the same time I think it's important that people do. You know, take a minute to appreciate the singular treasures in your life that make up a small smile on your face. I mean, I'm as guilty as the next person for, at times, taking things for granted. I have my complaints about my life, but I've realised the selfish nature of that kind of thinking. I'm going to put that thinking behind me. I know I'm grateful, I'm so grateful for everything; For every kind of blessing in my life. I think we can all imagine loss. We can all experience it too, but not all of us have. The feeling of not being able to see somebody you love again, or the realisation that you can't give that person a hug for the rest of your life makes my heart ache to think about. I'm serious. But I know that God has a reason for everything, and that people leave this earth for a reason. I believe that if God has taken somebody away from you, then He has a bright purpose for them in Heaven; The kind of bright purpose that we, on earth, can't find justification in because life after death is an incomprehensible concept to us. And although you miss them, they haven't left. I know you want to give them a hug and say to them things you've said a million times but want to say again, but they do know. I think that, in Heaven, everything becomes clear. And because there can't be unhappiness there, they know what's in your heart, what's always been in your heart, and what will continue to be in your heart until you can be reunited with them again. I believe that. Nothing is ever lost, or can be lost. You can hold on to anything that has been a part of your heart long enough to affect you forever.

The Time Traveler's Wife

"This is the extraordinary love story of Clare and Henry who met when Clare was 6 and Henry was 36, and were married when Clare was 22 and Henry 30. Impossible but true, for Henry suffers from a rare condition where his genetic clock periodically resets and he finds himself pulled suddenly into his past or future. In the face of this force they can neither prevent nor control, Henry and Clare's struggle to lead normal lives is both intensely moving and entirely unforgettable."

I finished this book - "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger - a couple of days ago and I have to say, it is simply amazing. I'm not even slightly kidding you when I say that it's one of the most heartfelt stories that I've ever come across out there in the big bad world of literature. Even in both it's supernatural and drastically imaginative elements, it maintains such realistic energy that sustains this beautiful purity and warmth within the pages. The characters are so powerful, and as pathetic as it may sound to you, I don't want to have to leave them behind after the final page of 518. The language is so poetic and gave me goosebumps at different intervals throughout, as Niffenegger's writing asks you to personally interpret and to realise the concept of creativity and art within the form of words. I really encourage you to read this book (I've typed out the blurb above to see if it tickles your fancy) and it'd be double ace if you got through it before the movie comes out in late August, I think? As you would generally expect with any text involving the concept of time travel, it involves concentration when reading as the passage of time is manipulated, however, in the complexity of it's content, it delivers the important simplicites of life. The little treasures that are there to embrace are explored, with Niffenegger's stylistic appoach compelling the reader in unexpected ways and truly pulling at their vulnerable heartstrings.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is what Clare and I do, it's simply what we do

11:27pm

It's 11:27pm on the 26th of July, 2009. It's Sunday night. Theoretically I should be as snug as a bug in a rug sleeping so as to be energised for school tomorrow but ah, I'm not. I'm never tired at a reasonable hour anymore - That's what weeks of going to bed at 3am will do to you kids. Anyway, I was just reading before which was very relaxing. I love books, I love being transported somewhere else. I'm listening to music right now - "Broken" by Lifehouse. It's the song I'm a bit in love with right now, along with "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. I put off a lot of human biology homework this weekend and it really didn't work to my advantage at all. Woopsy daisy. The clock just ticked over to 11:32pm. I think, subconciously, on some supernatural level, I'm waiting for Peter Pan to appear on the windowsill. But we don't really have windowsills. Mm, that's almost as heartbreaking as having no chimney for Santa. So to wrap things up, did you like my blog with no point and absolutely no direction? I did.

Sacha Baron Cohen

I admire Sacha Baron Cohen so wholeheartedly. The man embodies such comedic genius that's just undeniable, even if his work doesn't appeal to you or you if find it relatively distasteful - in fact I find it funny that so many do. Firstly I want to say that Bruno is very different from Borat and I don't think people should compare or place judgement on one while considering the other - they're two seperate projects, two seperate identities and basically polar opposite representations. To be perfectly honest, and I'm probably not the most constructive of movie critics, Bruno had me laughing myself silly. I loved it. Secondly, comes the real root of my blog. Sacha Baron Cohen has such self-confidence and appears to be so devoid of insecurities when depicting his characters and I look up to that. People may judge me when I declare that I look up to a man who wears a mankini in one movie and communicates with a genuine terrorist in the next; Society might think me sad and suggest I find a role model of more morality, but he's an actor for goodness sake and it's his entire attitude toward comedy that I appreciate. It's his individualistic approach to what he does and I guess his controversial delivery. Both Bruno and Borat have that shock value, and even with their "stereotyping" of certain foreigners, Sacha challenges those stereotypes as well and, to an extent, breaks down many cultural barriers. I really love how his identity is unknown to the people he interacts with. It allows the audience to see the wider community's interpretation and first impressions of him when they don't have that prior or pre-conceived knowledge to rely on in their initial judgement. It's so real that way. But, I guess differing societies don't always see it the way I do, what with Sacha Baron Cohen being banned from Kazakhstan after Borat, and the release of Bruno having been banned in Ukraine. I just think people need to perhaps loosen the barriers, deflate their judgement, embrace his comedy, and realise that it's simply that, comedy.

Dreams

To me, the dreams I have each night are a luxury, and a blessing. I love remembering my dreams and analysing them when I wake each morning. There's something about the idea that anything is a possible inside a dream - inside your subconcious where the true creativity of your soul is set free, without the distraction of reality we're consistently faced with throughout our days. It's a whole different reality within itself, with constraints disregarded and logic non-existent. I love it that way. I've always thought that dreams have to mean something, have some relevence - you just have to be imaginative enough to find it, and break down the barriers of reasoning so superfluous when compared with the power of imagination. I record my dreams whenever I remember them. They can continue to fascinate me that way. And if ever I read them over way into the future, I can recall them almost exactly. That, I find special, and able to be treasured